How to Cheat at Cooking

This piece was written as an application to join an online snarky blog run by a couple of London politicos a few years back. The Frog had to choose a current affairs topic and say something contentious.  This is the only one without swear words that I can publish here!

Delia upsets Organic Foodies.

The free-range organic brigade is up in arms lately. This time it’s because Delia Smith has pronounced that the chemical goo masquerading as food on our supermarket shelves is adequately edible, but only if you’re desperate enough. The current rehash and re-launch of her 1972 publication “How to cheat at cooking” suggests that there is no shame in making tasty quick meals from tinned mince lamb and frozen mashed potatoes. It’s supposedly a book for busy mothers on a budget.

Delia’s comments are regarded as apostasy by the those trendy chefs who ride around on scooters between organically certified delicatessens, but the sad fact is that she is right, basic supermarket fare might be crap, but it’s cheap, and probably won’t kill you.

Organic food is probably better for you than ‘value range’, but it doesn’t taste much different and it’s over twice as expensive. Most trendy yuppie couples start off eating nothing but organic tofu and fair-trade muesli before they breed, then they need to buy a place with an extra bedroom. They only to revert to buying family packs of battery chicken after they face the choice between cheap food or the cancellation their gym membership.

The smart people are those who simply avoid processed food. They buy cheap cuts of meat, basic vegetables and are savvy in the use of herbs and spices. They spend the money they saved on drinkable wine. That’s how to cheat at cooking.